From cell phones to feces

Emily has recently discovered that she loves to learn how to spell words. She’ll either ask me how to spell a certain word or she will try to spell it out herself and if she’s lucky, she might get it right or stumble upon spelling another word right. I get all excited when this happens and while she thinks that she spelled “table” right I say, Well no, but you just spelled “Tom”! She then cocks her head to the side, squints her right eye and decides whether this is a good thing or not. Usually she does and she smiles and nods at how smart she is.

Sometimes depending on the mood she’s in, it’s to our advantage to just tell her she spelled it right otherwise her face scrunches up in a ball and she gives you a look worse than the one that won the card contest over at Hallmark.

The other day, we had to get Jess a new phone and while at the cell phone place, Jordon was instructed to entertain Emily while we were explained the twenty page contract to purchase a phone through them. They sat in the corner in the waiting area and other then an occasional giggle, they were pretty quiet. This isn’t like them to be well behaved, so I figured either he threatened to hide her Leapster or there must have been some money exchanged.

When we were finished, I called over to them and Emily jumped up from the chair all grinning from ear to ear and I wondered what my middle child had promised her to keep her behaving for so long and if it involved a trip to Toys R Us, he would be doing the dishes for the next five days.

When they got over to us, she started yelling, “Jo taught me a new word! I know how to spell a new word!”

Oh cool, I thought. Time well spent and no chance of having to buy a Barbie. “You can tell me in the car on the way home, ” I suggested. Little did I know at the time that that was the best advise I’d given in months.

When we got in the car, Jordon is already laughing and I ask what is so funny and he clears his throat and asks Emily to spell the word that they worked so hard on at the store. Emily sat up straight in her car seat and started to spell it.
“P-O-O-P,” she proudly announced.

I pucker my lips and glare in the rear view mirror at Jordon who is grabbing his stomach and laughing uncontrollably.

“P-O-O-P,” she spells again and sits up even straighter in her seat.

As my son is rolling in the backseat laughing, I sigh and pretend to clear my throat.


“Yes?” she answers, looking over at my son and wondering why he has been laughing for the last five minutes.

“Do you know what word you have been spelling so nicely?” I ask.

“Yep.” she says and smiles.

“What word is it?” I ask.

“TURD!” she answers.

Oh boy-I’m not telling her.

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